Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Like a can of sardines.

Talk about being dropped right into this week. I haven't had time for much, save sleep, work, and eating. Looks like I'll have to make more later. Perhaps this weekend.

I recently received this list from my mother. It is apropos to my personality. Most of it applies to those of you who work in an office.

Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity:

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and Point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Put a sign on your photocopier that says "New Copier - Voice activated - please speak your command" Watch the fun.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It 'In.'
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write 'For Sexual Favors.'
Have a contest to see who gets to paint a mural on the elevator doors.
8 Don't use any punctuation
9. Ask a work mate if they need a hand, then give them a photo copy of your hand.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go.'
12. "Hi-lite" your shoes. Tell people that you haven't lost your shoes since you did this.
13. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.
14. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
15. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name (Make sure you have a good one picked out).
16. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won!, I Won!'
17. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'
18. Proudly show everyone your calculator and hand out cigars. Tell them your computer just had a baby.
19. In the summertime, blow up an inflatable swimming pool and fill it with water. During lunch time, put on your bathing suit and lounge in the pool. Anytime someone walks by, yell "HEY NO RUNNING AROUND THE POOL!"
20. Arm people with water pistols, Nerf balls, or paper wads to assail anyone who is blocking creativity.


Now playing: David Bowie - 13 - Bonus - The Supermen
via FoxyTunes

1 comment:

A view from the middle said...

an excellent post . . .I may have to try one or two of those in my humorless office.